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Free Quotes

Free Quotes: Marriage

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Famous and popular quotes about marriage...


Marriage is like a pair of shears Oft times  working in opposite directions, but punishing anyone that comes between them.                  

- Sydney Smith

One advantage of marriage It seems to me Is that when you fall out of love with him Or he falls outof love with you It keeps you together until maybeyou fall in again.
- Judith Viorst

Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
- Gary Busey

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.  
- Amy Grant

We all have a childhood dream that when there is love, everything goes like silk, but the reality is that marriage requires a lot of compromise.   
- Raquel Welch

A sound marriage is not based on complete frankness; it is based on a sensible reticence.  
- Morris L. Ernst

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage
- Gloria Steinem

To dance with a man is to concentrate a twelvemonth's regulation fire upon him in the fragment of an hour. To pass to courtship without acquaintance, to pass to marriage without courtship, is a skipping of terms reserved for those alone who tread this royal road.          
- Thomas Hardy

Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.        
- King Vidor

They have to convert our agenda into something aggressive. Two guys wanting to be happy together are invading their marriages. Helping a kid who's getting beaten up at school is promoting homosexuality. If you gave me a million dollars, I wouldn't know how to promote homosexuality. Do I hire Don King?
- Barney Frank

Defense of Marriage? It's like the old V-8commercial. As though if this act didn't pass, heterosexual men all over the country would say, [smacking head] 'I could have married a guy!'   
- Barney Frank

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage.  They've experienced pain and bought jewellery. 
- Rita Rudner

Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in? 
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The cure for love is marriage, and the cure for marriage is love again
- Unknown
Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts
- Jeff Foxworthy

In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer. 
- H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver

If there were something called Marriage Reserve, I'd sign up for it in a heartbeat.  That way I could sleep with other women on one weekend each month and two weeks in the summer, and my wife couldn't do crap about it.                       
- Mike Wilson

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out. 
- Michel de Montaigne

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
- Clint Eastwood

They say love is blind...and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.  
- Mae West

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
- Unknown

Car Manufacturer's formula for a successful marriage :  Stick to one model!
- Unknown

The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years withouthaving a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
- Alan Patrick Herbert

Marriages are made in heaven. But, again, so are thunder, lightning, tornados and hail            
- Unknown

Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.                                        
- Dr. Karl Bowman

All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest-never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy abnd constructive, and brings to a marriage the principal of equal partnership.
- Ann Landers

A simple enough pleasure, surely, to have breakfast alone with one's husband, but how seldom married people achieve it.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
- Dave Meurer

Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife.
- Euripedes Antigone;

From Lee Daniel Quinn's book, Quinn's Devious


MARRIAGE, n.                                     

[1] the dawn of romance and the commencement of  


[2] a word that should be pronounced as "mirage";

[3] an event, for the upper middle class, is the 

only adventure left;                             

[4] a very good way to promote civilization - if 

you get a good wife you will be happy, if you get

a bad one you will become a philosopher          


[5] a process much like a cafeteria - you        

carefully look over the choices, select what looks

the best - and pay later;                        

[6] an event which is called "tying the knot" -  

unfortunately, the knot can be a noose;          

[7] a word which always means commitment - but so

does insanity;                                   

[8] a ceremony favored in England - it's the only

way to beat their cold winters and lack of central


[9] something that changes the demeanor of a     

driver - there is no longer any effort needed to 

keep both hands on the wheel;                    

[10] the only permanent cure for love;           

[11] is only compatible when the man makes a     

living and his wife makes living worthwhile;     

[12] the only adventure open to the cowardly;    

[13] something which is called a feast -         

unfortunately, sometimes the appetizer is better 

than the main course;                            

[14] a group which consists of: a master, a      

mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two;    

[15] the alliance of two people, one who never   

remembers birthdays, and the other who never     

forgets them;                                    

[16] the process that turns a female from an     

attraction into a distraction;                   

[17] a legal custom which turns a man into the   

captive audience of his wife;                    

[18] that ceremony which makes more strange      

bedfellows than politics;                        

[19] a rite where two people, under the influence

most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most

transient of passions, are required to swear that

they will remain in that excited, abnormal and   

exhausting condition until death do them part;   

[20] occurs where a man gets hooked by his own   


[21] in America, is the only legal method of     

suppressing freedom of speech;                   

[22] is made out of two toothbrushes but a single

tube of toothpaste;                              

[23] is just a three-ring circus: engagement,    

wedding, and suffer;                             

[24] the process of finding out the kind of guy  

your wife would have preferred;                  

[25] a condition where no wife gets what she     

expected, and no husband expected what he was    


[26] the ceremony which provides a man with      

something that, sooner or later, he will find he 

can't blame on the government;


[27] a tradition which would suffer considerably 

if men had to pay the minister the same fee they 

will eventually have to pay the divorce lawyer;  

[28] is much like a pair of shears, so joined so 

the parts cannot be separated, often moving in   

opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone 

who tries to come between them;                  

[29] the continuous process of getting used to   

things you never expected;                       

[30] a status which depends upon two to be       

successful but only one to turn into a failure;  

[31] is a book in which the first chapter is     

written in poetry and the rest of the pages is   


[32] a bargain, and a sensible person understands

that someone must get the better of any bargain; 

[33] in Japanese is called "Judo" - the art of   

conquering by yielding. This is the western      

equivalent of "Yes, dear";                       

[34] a confrontation which always demands the    

greatest understanding of the subtle art of      

insincerity possible between two human beings;   

[35] is not a word, but a sentence;              

[36] a delightful form of combat where you get to

sleep with the enemy;                            

[37] an investment that pays big dividends if you

manage to keep up the interest.                  


For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.                          
- Bill Cosby

I pay very little what a young person says on the subject of marriage. If they profess a disinclination for it, I only set it down that they haven't seen the right person yet.
- Jane Austen

The kind of marriage you make depends upon the kind of person you are. If you are a happy, well-adjusted person, the chances are your marriage will be a happy one. If you have made adjustments so far with more satisfaction than distress, you are likely to make your marriage and family adjustments satisfactorily. If you are discontented and bitter about your lot in life, you will have to change before you can expect to live happily ever after.
- Evelyn Duvall and Reuben Hill

When You Marry Marriage -- as its veterans know well -- is the continuous process of getting used to things you hadn't expected.
- Tom Mullen

The middle years of marriage are the most crucial. In the early years, spouses want each other and in late years, they need each other.
- Rebecca Tilly

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.  
- Katherine Hepburn

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
- Cher

Never say marriage has more joy than pain.
- Euripedes Alcestis

One man's folly is another man's wife.
- Helen Rowland

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence 
- Henry Louis Mencken

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience   
- Oscar Wilde

Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.
- Tom Mullen

If there was strife and contention in the home, very little in life would compensate for it.
- Lawana Blackwell

"when two people are under the influence of themost violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions. They are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part." 
- George Bernard Shaw

Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world' or even with a little more care in this imperfect one) boyh partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are married to.
- J.R.R. Tolkien


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